There was a time when I would say yes to everything. Not because I thought I had the ability to do it all, but because I felt I looked lazy if I wasn’t doing something all the time. I had to learn to say no.
There was also an issue of how to handle things I didn’t want to do; a sense of obligation to every social invitation or event taking place. Perhaps it was a sense of wanting to please people. I didn’t have a “reason” for not wanting to go, so felt obligated. I had to learn to say no.
I’d be lying if I said I never struggle with it today. However, I’ve learned how important it is to preserve time, my most valuable resource. I had to learn to say no.
Top tips for saying “no”
Keep it simple: don’t try and complicate things. Don’t concocted elaborate reasons or excuses. A simple, “thanks for asking, but I’m not able to…” is enough. You don’t need the asker’s permission to say no.
Focus on your goals and priorities: If you have a plan for managing your work and time, it is easier to say no to new activities that don’t fit into your agenda. There’s a saying that goes, “A person who does not have goals is used by someone who does.”
Be assertive and courteous: Try saying something like, “I’m sorry I’m not able to right now, but will let you know when and if I can.” This approach is polite, and puts you in a position of power by taking charge of the exchange, telling people you’ll let them know.
Look for compromises: Perhaps you feel the request is good, but you can’t meet the requirement right now. Look for ways to move the request forward that works for both parties. Be careful that compromising is not just another way to avoid saying “no”.
Leave it open-ended: Sometimes you’re in a position where you can’t say no for sure. A year ago, I was asked to consider becoming president of our Rotary Club for this year. At the time I was asked, I couldn’t say yes due to some unknowns coming in the new year. I said “no” at that moment but told them to ask again early in year. They came back in February and I was able to say yes, as the unknowns had been defined.
IT’S NOT ABOUT SAYING “NO” TO EVERYTHING
Sometimes you need to say “yes” to further your personal goals and priorities. Perhaps you have a goal of becoming a subject-matter expert in a particular topic or area. Getting your name out there might involve extra speaking engagements, or some side-hustle work beyond your regular responsibilities. Then, as you become more aware of what is and isn’t right for you, you can say “no” to those invitations that don’t move your goals forward.
The hidden lesson to all this? As you effectively learn to say “no”, your “yes” becomes far more powerful.
Over the years, I’ve posted some thoughts on behaviours and practices that can get in the way of our productivity. To help bring some of these forwarded, this post will link to past articles, as well as adding some new material on common time-wasters.
I’ve broken these time-wasters into two groups. Internal are those things which we generate. External are those things that come at us from outside sources: both types can be controlled.
Work with a clean desk – A study on productivity found that, “The average desk worker has 36 hours worth of work on their desk and wastes up to 3 hours a week just ‘looking’ for STUFF!” Clean your desk to work more effectively.
Keep a time log – It is a good idea to analyze your use of time. Periodically select a typical week and gather data on your daily routine. Look at the data for areas where you could improve your use of time and develop an action plan to make the improvements.
Use a to-do list – Some people use a To-Do list which they complete last thing in the day or first thing in the morning. Some people combine a To-Do list with a calendar or schedule. Others prefer a “running” To-Do list which is continuously being updated. There are a number of ways to keep a To-Do list. Pick the method that works best for you.
Set your priorities – When you have to choose which task on your to-do list to address next, compare the relevant importance of the tasks. For example, “Which is more important for me to do right now? Maintaining client relationships or marketing the business?”
Delegate effectively – You can’t do everything yourself. Even Superman needed Jimmy Olsen. Learn to discern those things that you must do from those that can be done more effectively by someone else; both in the office and at home.
Use the 80:20 Rule – The 80-20 Rule was originally postulated by the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto. He noted that 80 percent of the reward comes from 20 percent of the effort. The trick is to isolate and identify the 20 percent. Once identified, prioritise time to concentrate your work on those items with the greatest reward.
Relax – You don’t have an endless supply of energy and drive. Now and again you need to take some time to re-charge your batteries.
A while ago, I got a new desk for my office. I figured that making room for new furniture was a good opportunity, to not only clean out my desk, but to go through everything in my office.
It seems I am more of a pack rat than I realized. I found documents going back 8+ years. The office was passed overdue for a cleaning.
Are you a pack rat; either at work or at home? Here’s some tips to help break the hoarding habit.
1) Take Inventory
Take a tour of the space you are organizing and take inventory all of your stuff. Look in cabinets, closets, bookshelves, storage containers, the garage, etc. Do you have things you haven’t used in a year or more? Ask yourself, will I use that item again? If the answer is maybe, get rid of it. Call The Salvation Army, recycle it or pass it on to someone who can use it.
2) Share your information
I save books and magazines long after I’ve read them. I find one article I’d like to reference in the future and I hang onto the whole magazine.
If you’re like that, tear out the article, recipe, instructions, etc. and file it in an organized system. I’m going one step further by scanning any such material and storing it electronically, which eliminates the paper altogether.
Recycle those that you don’t plan on reading or using again. Donate them to a local charity, a school, hospital or retirement home, where others can enjoy and learn from your books.
3) Don’t become the Pickle-Jar Guy
Do you know someone who has a garage filled with empty jars because they are going to use them someday? Empty containers make great storage, but how many do you need? If you have more than five or six empty containers stuck in a cabinet or closet collecting dust, add it to the recycling.
4) Ask the key question
‘Is my life going to change if I get rid of this thing?’ Almost always, the answer is, ‘No’. Marie Kondo has created this idea, if an object no longer “sparks joy” for us, it should be discarded. While I have a problem with the idea that our possessions should spark joy, the basic principle is a good one. Why do we hang on to things? Is it nostalgia, fear of offending family or friends, or some other reason. If you’re not using it, and it’s taking up space, get rid of it.
5) Look for the best was to rearrange the space
After all your clutter and junk is out the door and you have a better idea of what will be left in your space, look around and rethink your layout. Maybe there’s a better way to configure the room, especially if you make good use of wall space. One good rule of thumb is, the more you use something, the closer it should be to you. Lastly, consider how you want to come off to others in the room. For example, a more open layout can give the impression of having earned more space and, therefore, power; or positioning a desk so it’s not between you and clients can seem more inviting.
6) Review weekly
You’ve got your space cleared and reorganized, it needs to be maintained. When you declutter every week, you ensure your space does not fall back to its previous state. Not only is this good for the space but it is great for your mind as well. Having a weekly declutter process will develop a sense of achievement as you maintain a clean and efficient workspace.
The key question in filing or storing material is not, “Where do I put it?” but rather, “Where do I find it?”
You can have the most sophisticated storage systems available, but if you don’t know where to find what’s inside, you’re no better off than having stacks of stuff all over the place.
One of the most useful ideas within GTD is the simplification of the personal filing system. How do you file your own reference materials?
Two parameters drive the system:
It must be easy to file materials otherwise you won’t
It must be easy to retrieve materials, or you won’t trust the system.
Having used all sorts of elaborate, cross-referenced, index-card, electronic, with filing cabinets, bankers-boxes and card-box systems, I can tell you, they don’t work. There is nothing simpler than alphabetical order.
This is the beauty of the alphabet: categorize what you have in your hand, put it in a file folder, label it and file it under the first letter of the label. All in order and quick to retrieve. When you need something, you will find it in one of a couple of places.
For example, my gas bill will be under G for Gas or D for Direct Energy, my supplier. A more complicated system might have the gas bill filed under Bills>>Home>>Utilities>>Gas. More difficult to recall, and difficult to set-up. You have to know the rules and categories ahead of time and have some way of keeping track of them.
Electronic file systems sort alphabetically by default, so applying the system to your electronic documents should not require too much brain power.