Category Archives: Motivation

Stop Holding Yourself Back

It may come as a surprise to you to find out the negative opinion of yourself is coming from you. Pay attention to the things you tell yourself and others, and then cut the negative attitudes that hold you back.

Stop the negative talk

We tend to tell ourselves more negative things than positive. With regular practice, you can identify negative thoughts and self-talk and then take steps to change them to positive thoughts, before they get a chance to interfere with your choices and actions. Each time you find yourself thinking negatively, you can say ’stop’ and force yourself to rationally replace that thought with something positive and helpful. The exercise will feel unnatural at first but the more you do it, the more it will become an unconscious habit. As your faith in yourself and your qualities increases, so will your positive thoughts.

Stop complaining

Instead of focusing on the problems, look for solutions.

Stop exaggerating

I’ve said it a million times, don’t exaggerate! How often have you said something like, “I have a ton of work to do this week?” Even if you process 1,000 sheets of page this week, you won’t have done much more than ten pounds worth of work. Keep a reasonable perspective on the things you have to do.

Stop “should-ing” all over yourself

Have you ever noticed how many times you say the word should? Should is one of the most commonly used words for some people. I should call so-and-so. I should go to the gym. I should take another courses. I should redecorate my living room. Shoulds show up all the time. And most of us aren’t even aware that they are there.

Start paying attention to when and how often you say the word should. Anytime you find yourself doing something because you feel you should, explore why you are doing it. Say no to the shoulds and replace them with things you want to do. Banish the word should from your vocabulary.

Stop worrying

The problem with too much worrying is that it spoils our day and robs us from living an enjoyable life. Since sometimes we cannot but entertain some worries in our mind, you can then apply some of the tips that can help you overcome them and be able to enjoy your day.

Once you start worrying about something it can quickly grow.  It can often be challenging to keep small worries from becoming huge.  One way to achieve this is working out the real odds.  For example if you worry a great deal about flying, know that plans land and take off safely, every second somewhere in the world.  Flying is actually very safe.  I wouldn’t suggest looking up any statistics about a current worry, as that is only going to feed it.  But after that worry is put to rest, it can be helpful for next time if you know that the chance of that thing actually happening is quite low.

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8 mental steps to self-motivation

To be a success you need to know how to motivate yourself. You have to keep your spirits high no matter how discouraging a situation is. It’s the best way to overcome difficulties. If you are discouraged in difficult times, you will lose the battle before it starts.

How do you motivate yourself? Here are several tips I’ve found to be effective to build self motivation:

  1. Use visual motivators: An inspirational quote or poster can keep you focused on a change you’re trying to make in your life. A cartoon or joke can help keep you from taking things too seriously.

  2. Keep positive friends: There are those that will support and build you up and those that will always try and tear you down. Spend more time with the former.

  3. Read and listen well: Charlie “Tremendous” Jones teaches, the only thing that will make you become the person you dream of being is the books and tapes you listen to and the people you associate with.Pick out books, newspapers, websites, encyclopedias, anything with information that teaches you something you didn’t already know. Play Trivial Pursuit or watch Jeopardy. Learn something new every day. There are no such things as useless facts. If it’s part of our world, it’s worth knowing. I will get on my soapbox here again: embrace lifelong learning.

  4. Positive self-talk: One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can assert control over every part of your life.
  5. Get healthy: What’s good for the body is also good for the brain. Another reason not to put off taking care of yourself. Sleep enough. Our society is chronically sleep-deprived, which negatively affects our thought processes. So along with “beauty sleep,” go for the “smart sleep.”

  6. Keep a positive attitude: There’s is nothing more powerful for self-motivation than the right attitude. You can’t choose or control your circumstance, but can choose your attitude towards your circumstances.

  7. Take a break: You don’t have an endless supply of energy and drive. Now and again you need to take some time to re-charge your emotional and spiritual batteries.

  8. Share with others: Once you are motivated yourself, start motivating others. If people catch your passion, you’ll find it will drive you to new heights of accomplishment. Support and encourage others, be the cheerleader; it’s about them. Share your experience, by being a mentor, not through arrogance.
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Success Takes Practice

When it comes to undertaking projects I’m a great starter, but have problems with the follow-through or completion. I want things to be perfect first time around and hate going back: editing, improving, learning, etc. This article reminds us that accomplishing success—in any field or endeavour—requires work.

by Della Menechella

As a speaker and trainer, people often approach me after one of my programs to tell me how excited they are about the strategies they have learned and how they plan to put these ideas into action. When I connect with these people later on and ask how the techniques are working for them, I usually get answers such as “I really planned to use them but then things got so crazy that I never had the chance.” or “I tried them once and wasn’t successful so I gave up.”

Success, like anything else, takes application and practice. Anyone who plays a sport or has achieved expertise in any skill knows that it doesn’t happen the first time. They learn what to do and then apply it over and over again until it becomes easy and natural for them. They would never think of expecting to improve if they didn’t apply what they had learned. However, they think different rules apply to success strategies.

If you want to make a change in your life or career, you must work with positive ideas until you can apply them effortlessly. They need to become part of your operating system. The following tips can help you do this more easily.

  • Work On One Thing At A Time – Often people want to change many things and they try to do it all at the same time. This can be overwhelming. Choose one idea and work with it until you gain mastery. Then you can work with another idea until you are successful with it and so on. In this way you can make changes without a lot of stress.
  • Determine What The Benefit Will Be To You – It’s great to want to change, but if you aren’t aware of how you are going to benefit as a result of the change, it is easy to get discouraged. How will achieving this change make your life better? What value will it bring to you? It is much easier to stay motivated when you have the answers to these questions.
  • Recognize That You Might Initially Feel Uncomfortable – Sometimes people give up working with a new idea because it feels uncomfortable. They don’t want to deal with these negative feelings. Any time you try something new it feels awkward. This is a temporary situation. As you work with the new idea it will begin to feel more natural for you. It is all part of the learning process.
  • Commit To Using The Ideas For 30 Days – It is very easy to give up if you don’t achieve instantaneous success. Make a commitment to apply the idea consistently for 30 days. If something happens to interrupt the process, then start again with your 30-day commitment. If you make the commitment at the beginning of the process, you are more likely to achieve your goal.
  • Appreciate Your Successes – As you work with the new idea, recognize your successes. Maybe you are trying to deal more effectively with stress. Congratulate yourself when you remember to breathe deeply when you feel your stress starting to increase. When we recognize our small successes it helps us achieve bigger successes.
  • Be Patient With Yourself – Don’t be self critical if you find yourself occasionally falling back into old patterns. You have been operating in that manner for years. It is going to take time before you fully integrate the new idea into your life. As you work with it on a consistent basis, you will find that you revert to old patterns less and less frequently.

Like anything of value that we achieve in life, success takes practice. Make a commitment to put in the practice time that is required so you can experience the wonderful rewards that success brings.

About The AuthorDella Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine – send blank e-mail tomailto:subscribe@dellamenechella.com.
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How to Set Goals

With all the preparing and qualifying leading up to London summer Olympics, you hear a lot about the goals athletes are expecting to meet during the games. They know the only way they are going to reach the medal podium is by having goals to work towards.

Do you know anyone who is successful? Have you spent time talking with them about their success? Chances are, they credit setting goals as a major step in their success, and continues to be important as they look for new ways to challenge themselves.

Setting goals is not just for champion athletes or wealthy people. Everyone needs goals to give them direction. It’s not complicated. However, it can be challenging. The process of goal setting can be of value to you in building drive and commitment, important factors in achieving success.

Guidelines for setting goals

  1. Goals should should stretch you, yet be realistic and attainable. Challenging but realistic goals produce better results.
  2. Write Goals down and post them where you can see them daily. Stick them on your computer or your bedroom mirror, anywhere you spend a lot of time.
  3. Write your goals as positive statements that focus on successful outcomes.
  4. Write an action plan for accomplishing your goals. This is where short-term goals come in. Each short-term goal achieved, keeps you motivated and moving forward.
  5. Set a time frame: specific but reasonable.
  6. Celebrate your accomplishments. Once you have reached a short-term goal celebrate it; give yourself a reward.
  7. Revise as necessary. Sometimes things happen that you cannot control, you must not let that deter you from accomplishing your goals, revise and rewrite.
  8. Prioritize you goals. List your goals in order of importance to you.

Now, get out there, set some goals and go for “gold”.

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6 ways to maximize your talent with motivation

Everybody loves it when the underdog wins. The theme crops up regularly in movies: whether  or the latest version of , something feels right about a group of misfits pulling it together for an eleventh-hour victory over the perennial champs.

We love these stories because they make us believe we have potential to be winners, regardless of how we feel about ourselves at the moment. The fact that underdog stories are not reserved for fiction, but play out in real life, heightens our perception that we could become winners, if we just knew how.

Bad News Bears
Image via Wikipedia


Motivation is often the only difference between winners and losers. You see two equal teams competing, playing with similar skills, and having breaks and mistakes on both sides. Yet one team wins. What is the difference? Motivation!

If you want the edge that makes a difference in your , you’ve got to use motivation to get the most out of your skills. Here are some practical tips to maximize your motivation:

  1. Know what you want – If you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re trying to accomplish, you’ll never get there. The person who complains about lack of success, or more frequently, the “unnatural” success of others, is often sitting around, waiting for something to fall in their lap. Winners know what they want to achieve and set the steps to get them there.
  2. Record your progress – Don’t scrub your to-do list every time you mark a task completed. Use those check marks to remind you of the progress you have made. In turn, the record can push you forward to new accomplishments.
  3. Use rewards – There’s nothing quite like recognition to bolster your self confidence and motivate you to continued success. When you receive recognition, or are rewarded by others, hang on to those as reminders of things you have done well. If your current project doesn’t come with external rewards, create some for yourself. Use rewards to mark milestones and motivate you into the next phase.
  4. Challenge yourself – Don’t be content to merely repeat last year’s success. Athletes don’t limit themselves to winning championships, but are constantly looking for ways improve their personal best. Whether it’s adding to current skills or completely re-inventing yourself, personal challenges can motivate you.
  5. Think positively – The power of positive thinking may seem like a cliche, but it works. William Hazlitt said, “If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” Negative self-talk is going to get in the way of your success. Surround yourself with the things that will help you think positively.
  6. Remember the why – Remind yourself of the reason for your current undertaking. Why are you trying to be successful in the endeavour: to bring financial security, to create a good life for your family, to help someone in need, to see your name in lights or engraved on a trophy? All these are valid drivers and revisiting them from time to time will motivate you to go forward.

Bill McCartney, a former head coach at the University of Colorado said, “All coaching is, is taking a player where he can’t take himself”. The greatest coaches don’t necessarily have all the greatest athletes, but they know how to get the best out of the team. The greatest personal successes don’t come from people who have all the talent, but from those who know how to maximize their talent through motivation.

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Five Keys to Developing the Heart of a Champion

There are two major league sports teams in Edmonton: the Eskimos of the Canadian Football League and the Oilers of the National Hockey League. In 2005, both teams achieved considerable success in their respective sports. The Eskimos won the Grey Cup and the Oilers took the Stanley Cup series to seven games, before dropping to the Carolina Hurricanes.

Stanley Cup, on display at the Hockey Hall of ...
Image via Wikipedia

The following year, neither team achieved anything of which they could be proud. The Eskimos missed gaining a playoff spot for the first time in 35 years and the Oilers finished tenth overall in their conference.

How is it teams can be so successful one year and go nowhere the next? How is it in life that some people regularly meet and exceed goals, while others have trouble just showing up?

As I look at sports clubs, at all levels, that are consistent winners, or examine highly successful organizations and individuals, I see five traits that are the hallmarks of a champion.

  1. Character

    Champions have character. That is, they have defined values, ethics, ethos or standards. Whatever you want to call it, all they do, and how they do all, is driven by the quality of their character.

  2. Conviction

    Champions have a drive to win. They know what they want to achieve and how to create goals to get them there. Even when they don’t win all of the small victories, their focus on the big win carries them forward.

  3. Control

    Champions take charge of circumstances. They constantly prepare and hone their skills so they can meet whatever challenges come their way. They also know the importance of developing new skills to be able to handle change.

  4. Composure

    Champions are even-tempered. In game five of this year’s Detroit – Calgary series, Calgary players showed their frustration by slashing and cross-checking in the final minutes of the game. Goalie Jamie McLennan ended up with a five game suspension for his slash. Needless to say, the Detroit Red Wings moved on to the next round, while the Flames packed and went home. Champions know that the only way to maintain or regain control in a difficult situation is to remain calm and focussed.

  5. Consistency

    Champions do the right things over and over again. A winning football team brings its A-game to the field week after week. The best-selling writer sets time aside each day to write. A successful fundraiser works her prospect list regularly. Champions know achieving success involves consistent execution of their best moves.

We’re all “competing” for different kinds of prizes; the rewards that make our lives meaningful. If you want to have success in reaching your goals, you need to develop the heart of a champion.