Category Archives: Humour

The Top 10 Fractured Christmas Carol Lyrics

I would have thought “While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night” would have made the list.

  1. Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
  2. We three kings of porridge and tar
  3. On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
  4. Later on, we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
  5. Noel, Noel, Barney’s the king of Israel.
  6. With the jelly toast proclaim
  7. Sleep in heavenly peas
  8. In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown
  9. Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap, and hay
  10. Good tidings we bring to you and your kid

Keep it All in Balance

A corporate executive on holiday in a small Greek seacoast village was strolling by the docks and drinking in the local colour. He complimented one fisherman on the quality of his catch.

“How long did it take you to get all those fish?” he wondered.

“Not very long,” answered the Greek. “An hour or two.”

“Then why didn’t you stay out longer to catch more?”

Shrugging, the Greek explained that his catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The executive asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a nap with my wife. In the evening, I go to the village to see my friends, dance a little, play the bouzouki, and sing songs. I have a full life.”

The executive said, “I have an MBA from Harvard. I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You’ll catch extra fish that you can sell. With the revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring you, you can buy a second boat and a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can ship fish to markets all around the world. In time, you can then move to New York City to direct your huge enterprise.”

“How long would that take?” asked the Greek.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the executive.

“And after that?”

“When your business gets really big, you can sell stock and make millions!” exclaimed the executive with zeal.

“Millions? Really? And after that?”

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a small village near the coast, sleep late, play with your grandchildren, catch a few fish, take a nap with your wife, and spend your evenings singing, dancing, and playing the bouzouki with your friends.”