Category Archives: Communication

Communication

10 Tips for Effective Listening

Whether it’s our spouse, our children, or with a sales prospect or our boss, one of life’s great challenges is to listen well. Often, we are tempted to think about our response rather than listen. Or, we believe we already know what the other person is going to say, so we simply interrupt or wait impatiently for our turn. Listening, really listening, with our whole being, is a skill and one of the most important compliments we can give another human being. The following 10 “rules” can help.

1. Stop Talking! It is difficult to listen and speak at the same time.

2. Put the other person at ease. Give them space and time and “permission” to speak their peace. How we look at them, how we stand or sit, makes a big difference. Relax, and let them relax as well.

3. Show the other person that you want to hear them. Look at them. Nod when you can agree, ask them to explain further if you don’t understand. Listen to understand them and their words, rather than just for your turn.

4. Remove distractions. Good listening means being willing to turn off the TV, close a door, or stop reading your mail. Give the speaker your full attention and let them know they are getting your full attention.

5. Empathize with the other person. Especially if they are telling you something personal or painful, or something you intensely disagree with, take a moment to stand in their shoes, to look at the situation from their point of view.

6. Be patient. Some people take longer to find the right word, to make a point or clarify an issue. Give the speaker time to get it all out before you jump in with your reply.

7. Watch your own emotions. If what they are saying creates an emotional response in you, be extra careful to listen carefully, with attention to the intent and full meaning of their words. When we are angry, frightened, or upset, we often miss critical parts of what is being said to us.

8. Be very slow to disagree, criticize or argue. Even if you disagree, let them have their point of view. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable!

9. Ask lots of questions. Ask the speaker to clarify, to say more, give an example, or explain further. It will help them speak more precisely and it will help you hear and understand them more accurately.

10. STOP TALKING! This is both the first and the last point, because all other tools depend on it. Nature gave us two ears and only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that we should listen twice as much as we talk.

Communication

39 Phrases Everyone Should Know and Use

I remember a visit at the Greyhound depot, pick up a couple of parcels. As I walked through the door, I heard a customer berating an agent in loud and abusive terms. The customer had expected something to be there for pick-up and it wasn’t.

The more the customer screamed and threatened (and it was screaming), the more agitated the agent became. The confrontation resembled a playground fight between two children, not a business transaction.

I felt sorry for the agent. Her manager was sitting in an office behind the service area, aware of what was going on, but not intervening. I wanted to give the manager a boot and say, go out there and support your staff.

The agent also seemed ill-equipped to deal with the situation. If she had any training in dealing with angry customers, it wasn’t apparent from her actions.

A dozen or so years ago, I attend a workshop on interpersonal communication skills. One of the “tools” handed out was this sheet of phrases that could be used to communicate in diverse types of situations.

I’m not suggesting—as the workshop presenter did—that memorizing a sheet of phrases is going to solve all your communication issues. I can’t imagine the Greyhound agent would have been well served by having this list taped to her station, along with a communication flow chart.

Interpersonal communication is too complex to be bound merely by fixed rules. However, effective interpersonal communication skills can be learned and developed.

Any complex skill needs a foundation on which to build. This list of phrases can serve as such a foundation. Look at areas which are weaker communication skills for you and then look at the kinds of phrases you need to add to your lexicon.

Always appropriate

  1. Please
  2. Thank you
  3. You’re welcome

Reaching out to people

  1. Hi, I’m… What’s your name?
  2. Excuse me, I see you every day in the hall and I want to introduce myself. I’m…
  3. I understand how you feel.
  4. I would feel that way too in your situation.
  5. I can see this matter is especially important to you.
  6. This is what I hear you saying.
  7. Tell me more about it.

Cooperating and compromising in a conflict

  1. I gather you don’t agree. What’s the reason for your objection?
  2. Why won’t this work?
  3. I have a problem I’d like to discuss with you.
  4. Let’s talk this over. When is a good time for you?
  5. Let’s see how we can reach our mutual goal.
  6. It’s in our common interest to reach an agreement.
  7. How can I help you meet your needs?

Giving and receiving criticism

  1. It’s important for our relationship that I tell you about an issue that is making it hard for me to work with you.
  2. I’m not blaming you for my feelings. I’m just describing how I feel.
  3. I’m not attacking you as a person; I want to focus on your behaviour that is preventing you from moving ahead.
  4. That never occurred to me, but I’ll give it some thought.
  5. I’ll consider that and get back to you.
  6. Let me think over what you said and then discuss a different approach.

Acknowledging errors and mistakes

  1. I’m sorry.
  2. I was wrong.
  3. I accept responsibility.
  4. Yes, it happened, and it was a mistake.
  5. I don’t have an excuse. I have an explanation if you want to hear it.
  6. You have a right to feel the way you do.
  7. Here’s what I learned from the situation and what I’ll do differently in the future.
  8. We know what the problem is. Let’s focus on solutions.
  9. How would you like the problem resolved?
  10. What do you think a fair solution would be?
  11. Here’s what we can do to correct the problem.

Gossip and rumours

  1. I understand you have been saying…
  2. Do you really mean what I hear you’ve been saying?
  3. I’ve heard that, but it’s just a rumour.
  4. If it’s not true, it won’t be said anymore, will it?
  5. This may be an isolated incident, but I’m going to conduct my relationship with you quite differently from now on.
Communication, Public Speaking

Exercises to Improve Your Voice

There are a number of factors that effect the way your voice sounds:

  • Physical – the size and shape of your mouth, nasal passages, vocal chords, etc.
  • Health – your general well-being and the tone of your muscles.
  • Temperament and Personality – the way you respond to things going on around you.
  • Environment – both physical and social.
  • Youthful habits – your vocal behaviour as you were growing up.

Most of these factors can be altered or retrained to improve the quality of voice when you speak.

Here are some basic concepts to improve and develop your voice:

Loosen up

You used your voice freely when you were a child. As you developed “mature” speech, your vocal habits became ruts. You need to go back and revive the freedom in using you voice, exercising your imagination and experimenting:

  • Imitate animals – moo, crow, quack, meow, bark, etc.
  • Imitate musical sounds – a bell, a drum, a trumpet
  • Get your body into it – pretend you are cheering on your favourite team, cheer, encourage, groan.
  • Practice emotion – say good morning as many ways as you can – cheerful, perfunctory, angry, grumpy, etc.

Focus on meaning

Find some passages to read aloud. Before you start, read the passage to yourself and analyze the meaning. Read the passage aloud and try and convey that meaning with your voice: stress the basic thought; the development of the thought; the balance of ideas; any contrasts; etc.

Use your emotions

The physical state which accompanies emotion will help you vocalize. As you read a passage aloud, try and recall a situation where you have had similar feelings.

Practice vocal mechanics

Musicians practice the basics regularly. A pianist has a range of exercises to develop their dexterity, speed, sensitivity. A good speaking voice should also be developed with exercises.

Here is a brief idea of the types of exercises that will improve your voice:

  • Say the OO sound as low-pitched as you can. Slide smoothly up to a higher pitch (think a musical octave) and slide back down to the original pitch.
  • Say the OO sound for a long as you can. Repeat on different pitches. Do the same for the sounds AH, OH and EE.
  • Say the OO sound starting as quietly as you can. Gradually increase the volume, then let the sound get quiet again. Do the same for the sounds AH, OH and EE.

An Internet search on “vocal exercises for speaking” will give you many more exercises from which to choose.

Speakers in the past have worked to improve their voices. It takes time, patience, knowledge, and practice.

Communication, Leadership

10 Tips for Communicating with Employees

Effective communication is a key skill for supervisors. If a supervisor is unable to deliver a message clearly, it doesn’t matter how good or important the message is, it has no value.

Communication is a continuous process, and good communication provides both quantitative and qualitative input. It serves as a yardstick whereby your employees can measure their progress in terms of meeting their goals and objectives.

Here are some things you can do to make sure you connect effectively with others:
  1. Be clear and specific about what you want. Break the task down into step-by-step procedures.
  2. If you’re unsure whether or not people have really understood you, have them repeat your message using their own words.
  3. Demonstrate or illustrate whenever possible.
  4. For more complex tasks, break-down the instructions to each part of the job.
  5. Use direct and specific language. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t leave people guessing.
  6. Don’t rush your instructions. Clear directions save time.
  7. Avoid misunderstandings by asking employees how they’ll approach the issue or task and why. Have them repeat your instructions when you’re finished.
If you’re receiving directions or new information
  1. Be active. Ask questions. Clarify.
  2. Remain open-minded and patient when you receive instructions from others.
  3. Don’t second-guess or jump ahead of the person giving directions. Listen to the details.
Communication, Public Speaking

How to Prepare the Room for Your Speech or Presentation

Think about the time invested in preparing a great speech: research, organization, practice, preparing a slide presentation, etc. Now, imagine neglecting the last preparation step by not allowing time to prepare the facility when you’ll give your speech.

Your presentation is scheduled for 10:00 a.m. You blast into the room —with the audience already there— at 9:58 a.m. and proceed to set up your notes and equipment.

Ten minutes later, you’re fiddling with cables trying to connect the projector to you laptop. You haven’t booted up yet. It’s powered by Windows, so we know we have another ten-minute wait while it starts.

By this point, you’ve pretty much lost your audience.

Make sure that you spend enough time in the presentation room before your speech begins. Don’t let unforeseen circumstances put a damper on your speech. Get the details of the location where you will deliver your speech ahead of time.

Before leaving
  1. Make sure you have all the material you need: notes, files, handouts, USB stick, projector, etc.
  2. Double check your equipment. Make sure it’s working.
  3. Bring extra hardware as practical. Have two memory sticks, with the presentation file. Throw in an extension cord and extra connector cables for your tech. hardware.
  4. Make sure you have directions to your location, so you can get there early.
At the location
  1. Arrive early. At minimum, you need time to get your material ready. Better yet, be there early enough to set up and then greet audience members as they arrive. You can help build rapport with the audience by spending a few minutes chatting with them.
  2. Check the set-up. Can everybody see the speaker and presentation clearly? If possible, arrange the chairs and tables in a configuration that works for you.
  3. Make sure that the room is comfortable. Is it too hot or cold? Can you adjust the temperature?
  4. Set-up any electronic equipment you are using and test it to make sure it’s working properly and can be seen easily.
  5. Make sure the cables and cords are run in a safe manner. A roll of masking tape is helpful for keeping the cable out of the path of audience members.
  6. If the venue is providing the equipment, take a few minutes to make sure you know how to operate it.
  7. Test the microphone and sound system, standing where you’ll be using them.

Preparation at every stage of the process leads to a successful speech or presentation.

Communication, Public Speaking

5 Tips for Efficient PowerPoint Presentations

Creating a PowerPoint presentation requires skill, knowledge and creativity. Here are five tips to help you create an engaging and fun PowerPoint presentation.

Share a story.

All PowerPoint presentations should tell a narrative which includes a beginning, middle and end part. The initial part of the presentation should give a brief introduction of the problem. Try to ask yourself the question—“What are the things that you want to solve today?” Key findings should be presented in the middle portion of the presentation, but these facts should tie back to the main issue that you want to solve. By the end of the presentation, the audience should feel they have learned something and have a good understanding of the solution.

Always remember, less is more.

More often than not, people have this tendency to over-complicate a simple presentation with quirky transitions, too much text or flashy images. Some of these features are unnecessary. Try to make each slide free of clutter, using only a single image to sell an idea.

Branding is the ultimate key.

Create a PowerPoint presentation that will reinforce your brand image. Use the same fonts, logos, and color schemes that you use for the business. Treat a presentation like a marketing or advertising campaign. Don’t skimp.

Take a break.

Based on a research conducted by the University of Tennessee, the average adult’s attention span lasts for 20 minutes. It is best to keep your presentation brief and straight to the point. If you think you’ll use more than 20 minutes, give the audience a minute or two to relax. Steve Jobs often allotted a blank slide as a way for the audience to maintain their focus.

Practice and practice some more.

A wonderful presentation comes down to its speaker’s ability to capture the audience’s attention and keep them focussed on the topic. The best speakers are the one who don’t stare at their notes and don’t read scripts. Try to focus on the main points and let handouts outline the rest. Brilliant speakers don’t convey information; they sell ideas.