Understanding Retail-Sales Speak
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Image via Wikipedia
Image via Wikipedia
Posted in Friday Funny
Many of you are up to your neck in Christmas shopping. One week from today is Black Friday, a day of shopping madness. As you are out and about in stores, use this handy guide to help you understand what retail-sales clerks really mean.
1. “Can I help you find a size?”
(Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.)
2. “Do you need help with anything?”
(Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.)
3. “Welcome to __________”
(Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.)
4. “Have a nice day!”
(Now that you ruined mine.)
5. “Thank you for shopping at _____________”
(Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!)
6. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?”
(The more you can carry, the more you can buy!)
7. “I love your shirt! Where did you get it?”
(Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here. Why are you even shopping here?)
8. “Can I help you get something down?”
(I’ll get the ladder for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.)
9. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it”
(You would just mess it up again if you folded it.)
10. “No, we don’t have any more in the back”
(I just don’t want to check.)
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