Procrastinators are made not born
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This is post 4 of my series Inside the Mind of a Procrastinator.
One of the worst outcomes of procrastination in my youth was failing Grade 12 phys-ed. It wasn’t lack of athletic ability; I was a member of a number of school teams. This class covered phys-ed theory, such as: organizing tournaments, refereeing, history of sports, etc. Along with the usual sports activity, we were required to complete several assignments. I completed none. With incomplete course requirements, I failed.
Procrastination is learned in the family milieu, but not directly. It is one response to an authoritarian parenting style. Having a harsh, controlling father keeps children from developing the ability to regulate themselves, from internalizing their own intentions and then learning to act on them. Procrastination can even be a form of rebellion, one of the few forms available under such circumstances. What’s more, under those household conditions, procrastinators turn more to friends than to parents for support, and their friends may reinforce procrastination because they tend to be tolerant of their excuses. —Psychology Today
I don’t agree with this one. It seems de rigueur to blame authoritarian fathers for everything from bed-wetting to serial-killing. However, I didn’t have that kind of childhood. I grew up in a strict home, but neither of my parents were harsh and controlling. We had plenty of freedom to explore creative interests and develop skills and talents.
I can’t say I learned procrastination from my parent’s bad example. I don’t recall disagreements over things being put off by either parent. In fact, my mother’s organizational skills are a “gold standard”.
If there was anything lacking in this area while growing up, it was time-management or organizational skill training. There were no rewards for tasks completed in a timely fashion and no penalty for non-completion.
While I can’t speak to the effect of authoritarian parents on creating procrastinators, I believe parents can teach good time management skills to their children. Parents can teach:
- by modelling good organizational habits
- the difference between have-to and want-to
- how to set goals
- how to set priorities
- how to use a calendar/planner
- to develop routines
- the consequences of being disorganized or procrastinating
- the rewards –tangible and intangible– of getting things done on time
You may not actively create a procrastinator, but you can develop a child’s time-management skills.
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Comments
I also believe that procrastination in not learned. The moment we give in to the voice that tells us to procrastinate, then it’s when we develop it.
Excellent series. These posts are giving me some insight into my own personal habits and the motivations behind them as I prepare to head back to college after taking a year off to find some direction.
I agree with Alan; as a recovering drug addict I can say from personal experience that addiction takes hold in a very similar way. For me at least, procrastination provides some kind of sick comfort that I continue to seek despite glaringly obvious negative consequences. Whether that’s nature or nurture is still up for debate.
I agree. Procrastination is our own decision and not influence by other people or our environment. Our knowledge and control over those things is what matters.