How to Keep in Touch with People
How many people are there who you’ve known well at some time, but lost touch with over time? There are lots of reasons why we lose touch with people; some are beyond our control and some are carelessness. Often, the further we get from our last contact with people, the more difficult it is to re-establish contact. We feel embarrassed for neglecting them.
There’s nothing like the start of a new year to make a resolution to keep or renew contact with people in your life. And, there’s nothing like a system to make it happen.
Useful tools:
-
a computer with a personal organiser program
-
an electronic organiser
-
a card-index system with calendar tabs or desk calendar
-
a pocket calendar and address book
Whichever tool you use, start by listing all the people you want to stay in touch with. Then, decide how frequently you would like to make contact.
Contact can be:
- phone call
- postcard or letter
- greeting card
- face to face meeting
For some, once a month is the right amount of contact. For others, you might decide on once a quarter, or every six months.
- Once you have the list, create a calendar entry for each person.
- Spread the names through your calendar, so that the first contact for each of them happens within a period —e.g., two months.
- Limited the number of names for any given day. This means keeping in touch won’t become too arduous.
- Keep some free days every week. If you miss a day, you’ll have to catch up.
If you have a computerized organizer with a repeating to-do function, program the repeats.
If you are using a paper system, make your entry look like this: BC: Irving Berlin (1y)
‘BC’ stands for ‘Birthday Card’. This makes the entry stand out from other regular information you have in your diary. The code in the brackets at the end of the entry is the frequency of contact —in this case, once per year. As soon as you have made the contact, cross it off and make a new one for the next iteration.
Some people make find such a system to regimented, lack in spontaneity, particularly for personal contact. Working with a system (inside the box, if you will) still allows flexibility in the contact.
- You can vary the type of contact. If you call a person one month, send a card or e-mail next time.
- If needed, you can make contact outside the schedule. If you wished to acknowledge a friend’s accomplishment, send a congratulations card.
- If one of your contacts calls you in between contact dates, reschedule the next contact.
The purpose of the system is to ensure you keep in touch, not to over-structure the process. Many good things will come from working within this system.
My wife receives a bouquet of flowers from me, deliver to her office on the first Monday of every month. This started about three years ago as a birthday present and was intended to last for a year. While my wife appreciates the flowers, so do her co-workers. As we came to the end of the first year, they let me know they would be disappointed if the flowers stopped coming.
So, the tradition continues. The monthly delivery of the flowers have become a mini-event at my wife’s office. The set up and maintenance of the floral delivery are a small effort on my end, but the response on the other end is big.
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I have a learning disabled friend who, nonetheless, remembers everyone’s birthday every year. I forget his consistently. I’ve always assumed he was some kind of savant with regard to dates.
A couple years ago I commented about his remarkable ability to remember the special events in our lives.
“Oh,” he said. “What you need is a little book to write them down in. Then you can remember them, too.”
Nothing like a good sized bite of humble pie.