How to Improve Your Conversation Skills
The holidays is a time for getting together with family and friends, attending office parties and community functions. As you socialize with others, you will have lots of opportunity to have conversation. While there are some who seem to converse with ease and comfort, that is not the case for everybody. If you are uncomfortable making small talk, you may need to develop your conversation skills. Conversation skills can be learned.
Here are a few simple tips that can help you enhance your conversation skills.
1. Stop talking.
This is basic, but if you are monopolizing the conversation, how can others express themselves? Shift the focus of the conversation to the other person.
Be aware of your body language. One of the simplest ways to build rapport in conversation is to mirror the other person’s body language: leaning forward when they lean forward, smile when they smile, etc.
Attention to details will give the person you are speaking with the sense you truly hear what they are saying and are genuinely interested in their opinions.
2. Pay attention to the tone of your voice.
Even if you are only giving brief answers or asking short questions, the tone of your voice plays a major part in communicating effectively and displaying good conversation skills.
If your tone suggests a condescending attitude, boredom, or anger, you will lose your audience and people will no longer want to spend time speaking with you or listening to what you have to say.
Strong conversation skills are based on mutual respect.
A respectful, friendly tone will allow you to communicate efficiently and earn the respect of others.
3. Ask questions to clarify.
When you ask questions you show you are listening to what is being said and are interested in the speaker’s
views.
Give your full attention to the speaker. When you demonstrate to others that you want to hear them, they will grant you the same courtesy.
4. Balance the heavy with the light.
If you always guide the conversation in the direction of your ends or goals, you give the impression of distance and even arrogance. This is not a hallmark of great conversation skills.
People want to feel appreciated and unique. Address each person you encounter and do so in a positive, friendly manner. Conversation skills include treating others as you want to be treated.
Good conversation skills include more than simply speaking with others. Listening, good body language, questioning, pleasantries, and mutual respect are all important elements in any conversation.
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These are great tips. I’m quite the introvert, so not only do I have trouble with small talk, but I also find social situations like these to be rather draining. Nevertheless, networking with others is absolutely essential so you just have to get over it.
I like to start off the conversation by saying something pleasant to the other person such as, “Those are great shoes. Where did you get them?” Compliments are a great icebreaker and definitely start the conversation off on the right foot. If you prefer to do the listening, there’s nothing wrong with that. Simply think of good questions and make sure to smile a lot, make eye contact, etc (basically let the other person know you’re engaged). It will take care of itself from there. Also, business cards are your friend! Make sure you have plenty handy (even if you’re unemployed) so you can follow up with people via email. This may be easier for you if you aren’t so comfortable with verbal communication.