Edmonton Temperature Conversion Guide

Posted by Ian McKenzie
Written on October 24, 2008
North Pole scenery

Image via Wikipedia

Posted in Friday Funny

There is a definite chill in the air here in Edmonton. Most of the trees have lost their leaves and there has been snow in some outlying areas. Edmontonians have and odd perspective on cold. It goes something like this:

+ 10C = Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Edmontonians plant gardens.

+ 5C = Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Edmontonians sun bathe.

+ 3C = Italian cars won’t start. Edmontonians drive with the windows down.

0C = Distilled water freezes. Edmonton water gets thicker.

- 5C = Torontonians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Edmontonians throw on a T-shirt.

- 10C = Quebecers begin to evacuate the province. Edmontonians go swimming one last time.

- 20C = Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Edmontonians have the final cook out before it gets cold.

- 25C = People in Vancouver cease to exist. Edmontonians lick flagpoles.

- 30C = Calgarians fly away to Mexico. Edmontonians throw on a light jacket.

- 40C = Hamilton disintegrates. Edmontonians rent some videos.

- 60C = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Edmonton Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

- 80C = Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic. Edmonton Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.

- 100C = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Edmontonians pull down their ear flaps.

- 114C = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Edmontonians get frustrated because they can’t thaw their kegs.

- 183C = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Edmonton cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

- 273C = All atomic motion stops. Edmontonians start saying “Cold ’nuff for ya?”

- 300C = Hell freezes over. Edmontonians cheer for the Calgary Stampeders & Flames.

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