Control your body language for effective communication
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Communicating effectively means more than knowing what to say and when to say it. Communication involves the subtle signals your body language sends to those listening. Over half of the information you provide as you connect with others comes from your body language. Some body language provides positive information and some negative information. Positive body language says, “I am interested in what you are saying.” Negative body language says, “I don’t believe anything you are saying – and I am bored besides!”
Here are some common body actions and the impressions they create:
- Fiddling – Playing with your watch or a pen looks like you’re bored or impatient.
- Clock watching – It looks like you’re anxious to move on to something else.
- Tapping – Tapping your foot or fingers suggests you are impatient or nervous. Drumming your fingers, scratching, twitching, and darting eyes around room all discredit what you are saying and your image as a person good to know.
- Staring – An unblinking stare conveys boredom. Blink normally and nod your head to show agreement, and that you are still alive and not bored to death.
- Body hunched – Closing up your body profile —becoming smaller— looks like you lack confidence. Stand tall and believe what you are saying.
- Arms crossed – If you keep your arms folded during communication, you appear to be defending yourself against the others. Keep your posture open, except your legs. Crossed at the knee or ankle is O.K. (Depends a lot on the culture. For example, in Thailand don’t cross your legs and point your toes at anyone!)
- Hiding your hands – Evasive people with secrets don’t show their hands.
- Touching your face - When you have your hand in front of your mouth, you appear timid. Rubbing nose, eyes, ears, head, or neck shows doubt in what you are saying or hearing.
- No eye contact – If you won’t look the other speaker in the eye, you seem to have low interest or a lack of confidence. (Don’t forget staring, above.)
How you say things in communication is just as important as what you say. Watch your body language and control the unconscious message you might be sending. Read - Are You a Good Leader? Ask Your Employees What They Think
Update: Andy Buyting has posted a related article at myRetailer.ca. In it he talks about those non-verbal cues that could undermine the message a leader is trying to send.
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Comments
Thanks, even after 35 years of management, I find myself aware that I do some of these things.
It helps to be aware of body language, but also be aware of circumstances.
Crossed arms – the person could be cold
Itcy nose – the person may have allergies
Legs crossed but open (men, duh!) may just be comfortable
I would suggest to jro to click on your 10 Ways To Improve Communication Skills.
No eye contact. Careful self professed expert. This is found in predominantly white society. In Asian cultures, children are taught to not look at elders or superiors as they speak a sign of deference.
This ties back to staring.
these things come into picture only when an individual puts himself into something which doesnt xcites.
Every beginning is only a sequel .we should control our body language .I like the beauty of body language. I can belive that you will like it.If you love it ,please write it to me .THANK YOU!
Great tips & a wonderful post I have read in recent times. Also you can refer to Princeton Public Speaking for some great communications training.
When people look away, especially when their eyes look toward the ceiling, they are usually trying to find the right words to say something. They do this when they are trying to remember and incident or what somebody told them ver batium and now need to recall it. It can also mean that if the situation is touchy, like breaking up with someone or talking to an older child about a sensitive topic, the speaker looks toward the ceiling in search of a right answer. It is a way of visualizing or “finding the right words.”
Thanks for the great list. Another key point though with body language is to watch for clusters of non-verbal behavior. For instance, if you are confronting your employee about something and they dart their eyes once that doesn’t mean that they are lying to you. However, if they consistently dart their eyes, scratch the back of their head, tap their foot, etc. then you can be pretty sure that something is up.
Remember: one non-verbal is irrelevant (unless it is you, because as a leader your subordinates perception of you is their reality). It is “clusters” that you need to be looking for when reading people.
-Kyle
Some greats point in this posting, i actually just wrote a similar postings and thought i should share some interesting facts i found.
Did you know that human communication consists of 93% body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of words themselves. It is true what they say, actions speak louder then words.
Here are some other cues or “tells” as i call them, if you:
* Put your hands on your knees: indicates readiness.
* Put your hands on your hips: indicates impatience.
* Lock your hands behind your back: indicates self-control.
* Lock your hands behind your head: states confidence.
* Sitting putting a leg over the arm of the chair: suggests indifference.
* Legs and feet pointed to a particular direction: the direction where more interest is felt
* Crossed arms: indicates submissiveness.
I have a problem if anybody could help. Whenever I want to say a joke or crticize someone my face completely changes I don’t know why I can’t control my face, I blush and lose my control over my face.
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Great tips on things to avoid, but I’m curious if there are common “good” body language habits that we should encourage ourselves to do?