Ian's Messy Desk

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Your Blog Should Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere. > You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant. > From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

Though I like your "propensity for purple". Has a kind of poetic ring to it. ;)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

Categories: Humour, Humor

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing." —Michael Pritchard

Over the past four weeks I've looked at internal time-wasters. Over the next four weeks we'll look at external time-wasters; those that can be a little more difficult to control.

Controlling the visitors that drop in on you while you are working requires both tact and judgment. The office culture where you work can have considerable influence on this practice. If yours is an organization that encourages less-formal communication, you may find people dropping by to discuss anything from last night's big game to next week's big presentation. There are a number of ways you can control drop-in traffic.

1. Be the visitor. If you have to speak with someone, go to their office. That way, you can control the length of the visit. When your done, excuse yourself and leave.
2. Turn away from the door. If your work space is arranged so that you sit with your back to the door, it can be more apparent to visitors that you are working and they might be less likely to disturb you.
3. Close the door. If you have a door. The Les Nessman solution isn't always workable in a cube farm.
4. Stand up for visitors. If a visitor comes into your office, stand up to greet them and don't invite them to sit down. This will often shorten the length of their visit.
5. Tell them politely. If you're busy at the moment, ask them to come back. Set a specific appointment time if necessary.

The most extreme solution I've ever encountered was someone who sawed an inch of the front legs of the chairs in his office. Trying to keep from sliding off required just enough effort to discourage people from staying long. However, with a little courtesy and the above steps, you shouldn't have to resort to such drastic measures.

The measure of life, after all, is not it's duration, but it's donation. —Peter Marshall

Google turns seven today.

Lisa has posted some titles at Management Craft.

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, is gone.

• "MS Office Tip: Assign a Keyboard Shortcut to a Word Menu Item"
• Wipe your hard drive before selling it with Eraser.
• Bring Notepad to a higher level of syntactic awareness with Notepad2 replacement software.
• Banish spyware with Microsoft AntiSpyware Beta.
• Save space on your task bar. Use Tray it to tray your windows rather than task bar them.
• It’s the best free photo editing software out there. It’s GIMP.
• Grab your Win PC screen shots with SnagIt.

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." —Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessèd, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Thy great Name we praise.

Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light,
Nor wanting, nor wasting, Thou rulest in might;
Thy justice, like mountains, high soaring above
Thy clouds, which are fountains of goodness and love.

To all, life Thou givest, to both great and small;
In all life Thou livest, the true life of all;
We blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree,
And wither and perish—but naught changeth Thee.

Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,
Thine angels adore Thee, all veiling their sight;
But of all Thy rich graces this grace, Lord, impart
Take the veil from our faces, the vile from our heart.

Walter C. Smith

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" —Doctor Who

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7. I've run away to join a different circus.

From Mikey's Funnies

"Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong." —Dandemis

Adobe's pdf format has become the standard for exchanging documents, both on and off the web. However, Adobe's software for creating pdf's can be pricey for some users. There are a number of free alternatives out there and in this week's Office Letter lists user-suggested free software for creating pdf's.

31% evil, 69% good

Far more evil than B.D. or even the CBC!!! (That can't be right.) ;)

>

How does The Salvation Army use your money? Steve Wiseman has posted some stats on Salvation Army relief efforts in the wake of hurricane Katrina.

As if Darren doesn't have enough fingers in the blogging pie, he has joined with Jeremy and Duncan to create the b5media.com blogging network.

What is b5media?
b5media is a network of blogs that have been born out of conversations between Duncan Riley (of BlogHerald.com fame), Jeremy Wright (serial blogger from Ensight.org) and Darren Rowse (blogging at ProBlogger.net).

b5media is not a simple thing to sum up - you might want to look at the different ways that we as the founding team have described it in previous post on this blog.

I remember a supervisor at one of my first jobs picking up on a number of silly mistakes I had made and saying, "I don't think it's that you're careless, I think you couldn't care less." She was right. There were a dozen things grabbing my attention and the job wasn't one of them. It's easy for productivity or the quality of work to suffer if the job is not grabbing your interest. However, there are some things you can do if you find a care-less attitude preventing you from doing your job.

1. Look for creative ways to make your current tasks more interesting. For example, you might be able to take certain tasks outside the office —say, to a coffee shop— and complete them, without the usual office distractions.
2. See if it is possible to trade or share tasks with a coworker One person's tedium is another's challenge. You might hate number-crunching in a spreadsheet, while a co-worker hates writing documents. Trading tasks could address the attitude problems for two or more employees.
3. Ask for more challenging responsibilities. Job boredom often comes from not having enough to do. Adding responsibilities can make an old job seem fresh and new.
4. Schedule your work to best manage routine or tedious tasks. Most jobs have some parts that are less desirable than others. Making use of scheduling to optimize the completion of such parts. You can group low-energy tasks together and schedule them for a time when your work energy is low. You might alternate tedious tasks with challenging tasks giving some balance to the day.
5. Look for a new job. In the end, if you can't make the changes necessary to stimulate you current situation, perhaps it's time for a job change; either an internal move, a position in a new organization or a career re-direction.

Don't stand by and let boredom hold you back. Grab a hold of opportunities to make your work more interesting.

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." —Noel Coward

Oslo, Norway - September 20, 2005 - Opera Software today permanently removed the ad banner and licensing fee from its desktop Web browser. Acknowledging that the ad-banner and the option to pay for its removal has limited mass adoption of the browser, Opera is now offering its ad-free, full- featured browser completely free of charge in a move to grow its user base and penetrate the mass market.

The removal of the advertising banner and licensing fee is made possible by a gradual increase in revenues from search and service partners, including a new revised search agreement with Google. The extended contract with Google includes a search revenue deal, marketing support and technical cooperation. Opera expects this contract to increase the revenue per user.

During the first half of 2005, 30% of Opera`s desktop revenue was generated by selling advertising displayed in the integrated ad banner, 25% by licensing sales and 45% by Google search and other affiliate partners. Users have had the option of removing the ad banner and receiving support for a fee of US$39.

By removing 55% of the current revenue stream, Opera expects to see a decrease in desktop revenue in the short term. However, revenue in the long term is expected to increase as the ad-free browser is expected to significantly expand Opera`s market share and the contract with Google provides more search revenue per user.

The ad-free, full-featured Opera browser is now available for download, completely free of charge, at http://www.opera.com.

• How To Create A Table Of Contents Slide Containing All Titles From Your Presentation
• Keyboard Shortcuts To Create A PowerPoint Presentation
• Reduce Your Presentation Size

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." —C.S. Lewis

Rebecca posted a Proverbs Limerick and challenged others to create their own. Here's my effort:

Take a quick look at what riches bring.
They fly off like a bird on the wing.
Do not flex, strain and twitch,
At some scheme to get rich,
'Cause you know, wise restraint is the thing. Proverbs 23:4,5

Gordon proposes a little parochial meme to see how many Salvation Army bloggers he can flush out. My list of SA bloggers grows slowly but surely.

New blog search tool in two forms:

Google

Blogger

New Mindjet MindManager Pro 6 Helps Business Users Create Visual “Blueprints for Action”

I've been playing around with a beta version of this for a few weeks now and it's a great upgrade to a great product.

Larkspur, Calif., Sept. 13, 2005 - Mindjet Corporation, the leading provider of software for visualizing and managing information, today announced availability of Mindjet® MindManager® Pro 6, the newest version of its flagship application for business professionals and teams. Available September 20, 2005, MindManager Pro 6 is a tool for graphically representing the core communications of business: from capturing meeting notes to creating sales campaigns and drafting business plans in an “at-a-glance” view. Now with enhanced integration with Microsoft® Office, each resulting Mindjet MindManager Pro 6 “map” can contain additional information via hyperlinks to documents, spreadsheets and presentations. Maps can also be connected to corporate applications and databases, and to Web services.

New Mindjet MindManager Pro 6 features include:

* New Microsoft Excel integration: Embed spreadsheet information into maps

* New Microsoft Visio export: Quickly create flow charts, map out processes

* Improved Microsoft PowerPoint integration: Quickly create and preview slides

* New editable outline view: Switch from map mode to standard linear mode

* New “Add Attachments”: Add multiple documents, URLs to each map topic

* New Topic Alerts: Receive alarms for appointments created in your maps

* New Organizational Chart view: Create dynamic, data-rich org charts

* New Ink-enabled Notes: Adds new power to mapping on a Tablet PC

* Improved Map Formatting commands: Make maps look better than ever-fast!

If you've not given much thought to mind mapping, you can find a post on the effectiveness of mind maps at Between Seeing.

1. A length of yarn wound around a reel. 2. A flock of geese, ducks, or other similar birds in flight. 3. Something suggesting complex twists and tangles.

skein

That's Toronto, Ontario for the uninitiated.

I have a week's worth of meetings at TSA's Territorial Headquarters next week. Glenda's coming with me and we're taking a couple of days at each end to visit family and friends in T.O. and St. Catharines. It's a pretty full schedule, so posting may be thin. Take time to visit the blogs on my blogroll.

My comments have turned up a new Edmonton blogger, Tyler William's. His blog, Codex Blogspot, contains, "My musings on Biblical Studies, Biblical Hebrew, Dead Sea Scrolls, Septuagint, Popular Culture, Religion, Software, and pretty much anything else that interests me!" and is part of his bigger web site Codex: Resources for Biblical Studies, Old Testament Hebrew, religion & popular culture, theology, film, and more.

Tyler is the Chair, Religion & Theology Department; Assistant Professor of Old Testament, at Taylor University College in Edmonton. Lots of interesting content at Codex, stop by and check it out.

For a long time now, I've been accustomed to seeing the search string "Ian McKenzie" in my referrer logs. Entering Ian McKenzie in a search engine returns Ian's Messy Desk at the top of the list, much to the obligatory amazement of one friend and my daughter. In the past week, I started seeing referrals from Yahoo.ca for the search string "Ian". A quick test shows that I am the number one listing (after the ads) out of almost one-hundred million Ian's indexed by Yahoo.ca. Gandalf is second place.

Boy, if I take that and a Loonie down to Tim Hortons, I bet they'll give me a small coffee. :^

Daily Homework Policy

Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night: This time should be budgeted in the following manner:

• 15 minutes looking for assignment
• 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment
• 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like students
• 8 minutes in the bathroom
• 10 minutes getting a snack
• 7 minutes checking the "TV Guide"
• 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment
• 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment

Long-term Homework Policy

• These assignments are always given the night before they are due. This explains "long-term."
• It is a long-term commitment to the time it takes to finish it, which usually begins at 9:30 p.m. and ends at 11:50 p.m....or later.
• It is important that the whole family is involved in the project.
• It is imperative that at least one family member races to Wal-Mart for posterboard, and that at least one family member ends up in tears (does not have to be the student).
• One parent needs to stay up and complete the project. The other parent needs to call the school and leave a message that the student is out sick.
• It is not necessary to have the student's name on the assignment.

The true character of ministry is a servants heart —Author Unknown

Want to save some money on gasoline? You can find the best price for gas in Edmonton at EdmontonGasPrices.com. Best prices for other locations can be found at GasBuddy.com.

A better way to save money on gasoline is to reduce the amount you use. Here are a number of sites with tips on reducing gasoline usage:

• Twelve Tips for How to Stretch a Tank of Gas
• Driving more efficiently
• 13 Easy Ways To Save Money On Gas
• Thirty Gas Saving Tips
• Down-to-Earth Choices - the automobile
• Drive Less and Drive Smarter

No, this in not a Weekly World News headline, this is a technological "advance". Given the amount of rain in the U.K., this is probably a great idea.

Smart pegs keep rain off washing

Hanging out the washing only to witness a downpour five minutes later has long been accepted as one of life's little bugbears.

But a final year student at Brunel University has come up with a weather-predicting clothes peg he hopes could solve the issue.

The peg holder can sense changes in air pressure and send electrical signals to metal strips on household pegs.

If rain is forecast within the next half hour, the peg will lock itself.

The lock-down prevents the washing being hung on the line.

Link from ideas@aside

They weren't ready for what happened in New Orleans? Read this article from the October 2004 National Geographic Magazine.

link from Richard

"The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it." —Doris Day

Imagination Prompt Generator

Faced with a case of writer's or blogger's block? Visit the Imagination Prompt Generator at the Creativity Portal and get a prompt to start those creative juices flowing. Don't like the prompt you're given, click and get a new one.

link from 43 Folders

We all face the fact that there are times when we demands on our time that exceeds our ability to handle them. Learning to say "No" is a critical --yet difficult-- skill that needs to be mastered. Taking on more than you can manage only leads to frustration as nothing gets done very well. Here are a list of web articles on learning to say no:

• Oprah.com >>http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/lybl/control/ss_lybl_control_08.jhtml
• The New Nation >>http://nation.ittefaq.com/artman/publish/article_21344.shtml
• Web4Health >>http://web4health.info/en/answers/child-say-no.htm
• Detroit News >>http://www.detnews.com/2005/money/0507/23/C02-250668.htm
• SmartBiz >>http://www.smartbiz.com/article/articleview/615/1/3/
• Life in Motion >>http://www.lifeinmotioncoaches.com/articles_files/page0005.htm

But unmeasured of plummet and rod
Too deep for their sight to scan,
Outrushing the fall of man
Is the height of the fall of God. —G.K. Chesterton

After Knock, Knock, Seth Godin's last e-book, it's only natural that he follow up with Who's There (free for now). In the new book he takes a look at blogging. Not a standard how-to, but:

"Instead, I divide the blog world into three groups and turn my attention to one. And in particular, I try to sell you hard on how building a blog asset can have a spectacular impact on you, your career, your organization and your ideas."

Portrait Illustration Maker

I'm not very good at judging what I look like. Maybe someone else needs to take a crack at creating my face.

Link from Marla

I quickly slapped together a little dog-ear graphic for the top-right corner of my page. Clicking the image will take you to The Salvation Army USA National web-site donation page. The page is loading very slowly —I'm assuming due to traffic volume. You can also make a donation at the Canada and Bermuda Territory web-site, but you need to select Other from the Donation Options and specify hurricane Katrina relief in the box.

Update: Here's another SA dog-ear at Andrew Ferguson dot net (he's done a better job of the graphic).

Richard has announced that the Sketty Methodist chuch web site is on-line. I'm particularly interested in the fact that they are using WordPress to power the site as I use WordPress to maintain our congregation's web-site. I'd be interested in getting some feedback on how suitable they —and perhaps others— find blogging platforms for maintaining this type of web site.

There has been much discussion around the web on the (un)suitability of using blogging software as a CMS. There are WordPress features that I find particularliy useful for this task:

1. Ease of updating —Once the initial installation is complete, adding content is relatively straightforward. As Richard mentions, any number of authors can be set up in WP, allowing individual groups within the congregation to add their own content.
2. Static pages —Certain types of information doesn't change frequently: address and driving directions, group membership lists, weekly schedules, etc. Static pages can be created and then updated only as needed.
3. Categories and sub categories —Church congregations generally have a lot of things going on. Categories allow the webmaster to manage the organization of the site. Individual groups get a sub-category, which is further organized under a category. (E.g., band, choir and worship team all have their own sub-categories, which come under the category of music.) Everything flows through the front page, so that visitors to the site can see at a glance what is happening at Edmonton Temple. Those who are interested in a specific activity, say ALPHA, can find the details they need in that category.

I've been using WordPress at the Edmonton Temple site for a little more than six months now and am happy with the system and the results. The response to the site has been good and our traffic has slowly been increasing.

Don't push the red button!

VERSE:
Stay in that house, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. —Luke 10:7

THOUGHT:
Today is Labour Day in North America. Labour Day is perhaps the most widely recognized secular holiday. Throughout the world, at different times, nations set aside a day that celebrates the contributions workers make to the fabric of their society.

Long before nations recognized workers, Christ taught the principle of a fair wage for work. As he sent out his disciples he instructed them not to be afraid to accept what was due to them by virtue of their work. This becomes an issue of stewardship, for surely a corollary to "the worker deserves his wages" must be, the beneficiary of that work is responsible to pay those wages.

If Christians had ever been brave enough to make Christ alive, nobody would now be saying that Christianity is dead. -- Winifred Kirkland

My list of Salvation Army bloggers is getting longer, though probably not comprehesive. If you know of others that can be added to this list, let me know.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day

Robert Robinson

The mark of a saint is not perfection, but consecration. A saint is not a man without faults, but a man who has given himself without reserve to God. -- W. T. Richardson

• How to send e-mails from any address using Gmail's SMTP server
• How to Make Your Speaking Easier and More Effective
• Meeting Agenda Template
• D*I*Y Planner | Paper, productivity & passion

Back in 2002 Statistics Canada reported that 3 out of 10 employed Canadians worked some type of shift. and that "Many shift workers reported problems that ranged from sleep disruption to difficulties with relationships. For most of them, working shift was not a choice, but a requirement of employment." Not only do a third of working Canadians find it difficult to attend church, because of scheduling, but they face increased personal problems because of the demands of their shift work. These are people who could benefit from the prayerful support and loving fellowship that can come from a body of believers.

What are we doing about it?

• Using Thunderbird to Get Things Done
• Idea Generation Methods
• Outlook and GTD - Filing and Archiving Tips
• Pocket Mod - The free disposable organizer
• The Ultimate USB Key

1. Herman's Hermits-- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
2. The Bee Gees-- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
3. Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
4. Ringo Starr-- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
5. Roberta Flack-- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
6. Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
7. Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
9. Marvin Gaye -- Heard it Through the Grape Nuts
10. Procol Harem -- A White Shade of Hair
11. Leo Sayer-- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
12. The Temptations-- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
13. Abba-- Denture Queen
14. Tony Orlando-- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
15. Helen Reddy-- I am Woman, Hear Me Snore
16. Willie Nelson-- On the Throne Again
17. Leslie Gore-- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry if I Want To

from Mikey's Funnies

"A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it." —Sir Thomas Beecham

Today is marks the centennial of Alberta becoming a province of Canada.

Saskatchwan celebrates its centennial on Sunday, September 3, 2005.

"Christianity at one time made grand contributions to science, literature, the arts, architecture, philosophy and politics. Now we're happy with Scripture-clad Clorets knockoffs and health food promising to make you more spiritual for eating it. And you don't have to limit yourself to these examples. Check out your local Christian bookstore for any number of other inane and pitiful products hyped as "Christian.""

Nothing can be said so clearly as to preclude the possibility of it being misunderstood. --Philipp Melanchthon