New Year’s Resolutions for Your Dog
Last year, this list would have been amusing. This year, with Shady in the house, some of it is just too painful. If only he could read. 
- I will remember the garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
- I will not suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
- I will shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
- I will not eat the cat’s food, before, or after, she eats it.
- I will stop trying to find new places on the carpet when I am about to throw up.
- I will not roll on dead things.
- I will stop considering the cat’s litter box as a cookie jar.
- I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.
- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
- I will not go crazy barking when I hear the neighbour’s car start as he leaves for work at 5:00 a.m.
- We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I hear one on the television.
- I will not steal my Mommy’s underwear out of the laundry basket and then dance all over the front yard with them.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Daddy’s underwear when he’s on the can.
- I will remember the sofa is not a face towel and neither are Mommy’s & Daddy’s laps.
- I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mommy’s driver’s license and car registration.
[tags]dogs, humour, lists, New Year’s resolutions[/tags]
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