Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife is Pregnant
- I finished the Oreos.
- Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.
- Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby!
- I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!
- Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
- Darned if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
- Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.
- Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
- I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?
- Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
- Get your *own* ice cream.
- Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.
- Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney?
- Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
- Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
- Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear!
- You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger…
[tags]humour, jokes, humor, fun[/tags]
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