Punny Definitions
My wife thought the previous post was a little lame. Here is a post of puns to keep her happy. (Just so you know who to blame. 
)
- Allege: A rocky platform on a mountain
- Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
- Arson: Our daughter’s brother
- Autobiography: A history of cars
- Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do
- Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
- Baloney: Where some hemlines fall
- Bassinet: What every fisherman wants
- Belong: To take your time
- Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage
- Book: a utensil used to pass time while waiting for the computer repairman
- Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think
- Burglarize: What a crook sees with
- Carpet: A dog that enjoys riding in an automobile
- Coffee: Break fluid
- Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
- Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
- Control: A short, ugly inmate
- Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
- Deduce: De lowest card in de deck
- Document: Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words
- Dogma: A mother dog
- Earthquake: A topographical error
- Eclipse: What a gardener does to your hedge
- Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist
- Falsehood: Someone who pretends to be a gangster
- Feast: An eat wave
- Fission: What Huck Finn did when he played hookey
- Flattery: Phony express
- Geometry: What the acorn said when it grew up
- Grateful: What it takes to build a good fire
- Ground beef: A cow with no legs
- Handicap: A ready-to-use hat
- Hanging: A suspended sentence
- Hari-Kari: Transporting a wig
- Heroes: What a guy in a boat does
- Hunger: What the posse did to the lady rustler
- Hypochondriac: A guy who won’t let well enough alone
- Hypothesis: What a boy says to his father on the telephone
- Indecision: Under the whether
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Much Better! But why the new face lift - AGAIN?!?!?!