How to Re-Frame Self-Defeating Thoughts to Create Powerful Thoughts
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Posted in Motivation
Just as different frames can change the look of a picture, so re-framing thoughts can help you to see events or situations differently. With a new frame, a picture of hopelessness and despair can become a picture of hope, challenge and opportunity.
Have you had an experience that seemed negative, but you later realized had a positive effect? The event didn’t change, only the way you framed it.
When you catch yourself thinking negatively, such as, “I’m a failure,” re-frame the thought and be specific: “The plan failed, not me” or “I made a mistake.”
If you see yourself as a failure, you are less likely to try again. If you see your plan of action as the failure, you are more likely to change the plan, try again and succeed next time.
Putting yourself down doesn’t help you cope with problems or come up with solutions. It only leaves you feeling worthless and discouraged. You don’t like others putting you down, so why do it to yourself?
Question every self-defeating thought that pops into your head.
Examples of self-defeating thoughts:
- “I should never have . . .”
- “I’m no good at anything.”
- “I’ll never be able to make it as a . . .”
- “I’m alone in this.”
- “I’m too old to change.”
What evidence is there to support such thoughts? Is there any real truth to them?
Tips for re-framing
Confront your self-defeating beliefs by writing down your negative thoughts. Then re-frame them in more specific and positive ways:
- “I can’t do it.” becomes “I’ve overcome difficulties before and I can do this, too.” or “When I set my mind to it, I usually do well.”
- “I should never have . . .” become s”Next time, I will . . .”
- “I’m no good at anything.” becomes “I’m good at . . . ” or “I’ll do better if I . . .”
- “What’s the use?” becomes “I won’t let this setback stop me.” or “Things can always be improved.”
Practise saying positive things about yourself to yourself. Refuse to think negatively.
Learning to think positively takes time but the more you re-frame, the easier it gets.
With material from ALIS
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