Learn How to Say No
Posted in The Simple Life
How many times have you agreed to do something that you actually didn’t want to do? For someone at work, your friends and spouse? All you had to do was say no, but the word didn’t come out. So you end up doing it and later dislike it.
There are times when we have demands time that exceed our ability to manage them. Learning to say “No” is a critical skill that needs to be mastered. Taking on more than you can manage only leads to frustration as nothing gets done very well.
Here are a few ways to say no:
- Determine what is important to you. Be clear on what your priorities are. What are you currently trying to accomplish and by when? How can you focus energy on things that will move you toward those goals? You have to be somewhat inflexible. A new assignment or opportunity can be a distraction. Let your goals become your reality check.
- Learn how often you say yes. Over the period of two or three weeks, track how many times you say yes to something that is not essential to your goals. At the end of the time, tally up the number. Awareness is the first step to realigning your decisions and priorities.
- Don’t respond immediately. Instead, say something like, "that sounds like a good idea, but I’ll need to check through my calendar carefully before I commit to it. Can I call you back tomorrow?"
- Figure out the effect on current responsibilities. Ask whether the opportunity will squeeze my existing commitments too much—time with family, good performance at work, time for friends, "down" time.
- Don’t be rude. Develop other ways of saying NO:
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- I can´t do this right now.
- NO, thanks. Not this time. Thank you for asking.
- Sorry, but NO.
- Please accept that I cannot come.
- I´d rather not.
- Suggest someone else. If you know someone else who might be available to do what you can’t, suggest their name and contact information. This could be a good way to give experience to someone who is looking to develop skills.
- Don’t feel guilty. If circumstances prevent you from saying year, it won’t be the end of the world. It might feel that you’re letting people down, but it’s essential to know that you are never indispensable.
- Just say it. What is the worst that could happen by saying no? You might lose some people in your life who are used to you doing what they want. That might not be a bad thing.
Related Posts:
Learn to Say No
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