What Not to Give for Valentine’s Day
Posted in Friday Funny
- A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
- Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria’s Secret model.
- Any clothing item with the words “push-up” or “slim-down” on the label.
- Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fibre” on the label.
- Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Angelina Jolie.
- Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop–or worse, a mortuary’s.
- Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out “There was once a girl from Nantucket…”
- Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
- Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
- A gift certificate.
- Cash.
- Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
- An apologetic look and the words “That was today?”
From Mikey’s Funnies
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yeah… but what’s left?